How to be an anti-gun blogger

El Bombardero —  March 22, 2012 — 3 Comments

I saw the “So you want to be a gun blogger” series over here today. Inspiring. It’s cool to hear an established gun blogger not be a condescending douchebag. I know I know, I shouldn’t be devisive and harsh like that towards other gun blogs, but I just can’t help it. Hate me. Honeybadger don’t give a shit.

Anyways, Gun Nuts Media’s little series inspired me and I thought maybe I could help out the other half of the equation, those who maybe feel like it’s hard to get a following and maintain one, avoid infinite scorn and ridicule, pull their panties from out of their tight little assholes. I’m of course talking about anti-gun blogs.

I know they need help just because they are so goddamn hard to find. Google “anti-gun blog” and it quickly becomes obvious that there must be some pretty significant hurdles to overcome. Otherwise they might actually show up your search results.

So without further nonsense, I will now charitably dispense helpful information to this tiny corner of the internet. Forgive the intense complexity of the instructions, the anti gun crowd is a special breed of intelligence and must be spoken to at their level.

1 – Lie
2 – Cheat
3 – Eat dick (figuratively of course)
4 – Ignore unjustified police shootings and law enforcement scandals involving guns
5 – Dance in the spilt blood of dead negroes and college students
6 – Cry on twitter all fucking day to an audience who relentlessly mocks you
7 – Eat dick (literally)
8 – Type IN ALL CAPS with pooor speling and GRAMMER!
9 – Censor all comments that disagree with your point of view
10 – Fade into irrelevancy

For more great tips, you can contact me at elbombardero.gfe@gmail.com

El Bombardero

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El Bombardero is a schizophrenic gun nut who got his start with firearms in 2005 when he bought his first saturday night special out of the trunk of a classic caprice in a Whole Foods parking lot. He's been addicted ever since. You can find him in his garage drinking heavily and hatching schemes to make more money to feed his addiction.

3 responses to How to be an anti-gun blogger

  1. Juan-A-Be The Luchador March 22, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    That is gangstah… make them anti-gun niggas jealous.

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